Life & Love4 Nigerians Talk About Dating Multiple Partners Iverson AkhigbeMarch 15, 2022

This question was raised on two social media platforms and the responses from the poll differed from individual to individual. The responses differed because of the different ways individuals view issues.

Here are some responses from the poll:

Anisere 

“Thinking about it, I was going to be in support with my girl
going on a date with another person while we are dating but then
I don’t think I will be comfortable with another random guy
making my babe smile and giving her a good time.
I’m not down for such. I think it’s a speeding ticket to losing my partner.”


Queen 
“Lolz. Biko how can a broke fine chick with needs and wants see craze quencher and look the other way because she has a boyfriend? Who is, by the way, a ‘promise-treneur’???”

Samuel
“First of all, does your partner know you’re going out on a date? If he/she doesn’t know, that’s wrong. It’s wrong and disrespectful. It also depends on how whoever you’re going out with feels about you. If you go out with somebody and you know that this person feels in a certain way for you, the way you talk and chat with this person gives the person vibes, then it’s not right. I know that a relationship is not a trap but still, I think you owe your partner a certain degree of respect. Except it’s a casual thing and it must be in the open”

Yet another person, Kc, said
“I think that before you’ll even consider going on the date with another person you already
have doubts about the person you’re dating”

Based on the feedback received from the poll and several comments, I can say that the men and the women had different opinions. A few females agreed with the men that dating multiple people should be seriously considered and in most cases, avoided. But most females argued that it was not bad to go on dates while in a relationship.

What are the reasons behind these views?

A man and a woman of the same age are viewed separately by most African societies. As much as we would like to claim woke and deny the pressure on women to get married, we know that that pressure is there. That expectancy from home, family and friends for a woman to be settled into a good home with a good man is not something that foreign culture can do away with easily.

A woman of 35 years is considered almost old and in some cases might stand a difficult chance in getting married. A man of 35 years is however considered to be in his prime.
Needless to give an example with unmarried female celebrities; it is a bit tolerable from the society to them because they look at the money the woman amassed and more often than not, respect that an aspect of her life is not lacking.

A woman keeps options. Like Queen mentioned, you might be dating a man who knows that he would not marry you, but would not tell you; you might be dating a man who asks you to marry when you meet other men; you might be dating a man and you know that in the next five years, this man would not be ready to get married whereas the society looks at you and tells you that you’re getting old. A woman should have options as she plans her life, whether it’s just for casual dating or for a serious relationship that could lead to more.

These are the reasons a woman prefers to see other available men while she is in a relationship. Really, we cannot blame them.

A man also has options. Most men have the nature to own and claim. This is one reason that women dating multiple people peeves the man to think about his woman with another man and this is reflected in the responses.

So how do you know whether you should date multiple people or not?

It’s easy. Figure out your reason for dating!

If you’re dating casually, just for fun, then feel free to date multiple people at the same time. If you’re dating with the goal of committing to a serious relationship, then it’s best to date just one person. The caveat is that before you commit to exclusive dating, it’s not a bad idea to date multiple people to gauge what your relationship with all of your partners are like. This will let you pick the qualities you most desire from a group of people you already like!