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Gaya

Have y'all seen the price of skincare lately?

Why does taking care of yourself now look like something you need to budget for three months in advance?

Serums, cleansers, moisturisers, exfoliators, face masks, spa appointments, scented candles, silk bonnets, and so on and so forth. And apparently, if you're not drinking matcha in matching pyjamas while journaling beside a diffuser, you're not doing self-care properly. LMAO.

Yes, skincare is important. Looking after your skin, maintaining good hygiene and spending money on things that make you feel good are perfectly reasonable. However, we've started acting like self-care is only about the things you can add to cart.

And that's where things get ridiculous, because self-care can’t only be about your outward appearance. 

Your Skin Is Glowing. What About the Rest of You?

You know your skin type. You know which serum contains niacinamide. You know which ingredients shouldn't go together. That’s lovely for you.

But how about when you're overwhelmed? Do you know how to say no without writing a three-paragraph apology? Do you know when to rest? Or did you think it’s only your skin that matters when it comes to self-care?&nbsp;

Nowadays, skincare has become one of the most visible forms of self-care, and it's easy to forget that the rest of you also need attention.

Let's look at a few things that don't always make it into those aesthetically pleasing self-care videos.

1. You Can't Skincare Your Way Out of Exhaustion.

You have a morning routine, an evening routine and a special Sunday routine.

But when was the last time you got enough sleep?

Every time, you’re tired. You're always running on caffeine and somehow proud of how little rest you get. Then before you know it, you’re buying another product because your face is looking stressed.

Dear baby girl and baby boy, have you ever thought that the reason your face is looking stressed could probably be because you are stressed?

Hellooo? Your moisturiser is not a substitute for rest. And while a skincare routine can be relaxing, it doesn't cancel out the effects of consistently ignoring your body's needs.

Sometimes, taking care of yourself means closing that laptop and going to bed. Not going to bed and pressing your phone, as in, lying on your bed, closing your eyes, and allowing yourself to drift into sleep mode.&nbsp;

2. Your Boundaries Need More Attention Than Your Skincare Shelf.

Even with all the skincare, you haven’t been able to get rid of those worry lines on your forehead. And sure enough, you’ve tried everything. But there’s something you haven’t tried. Do you want to know what that is? Setting Boundaries.

Because you can spend an entire evening researching the best products for your skin, but you can't spend five minutes deciding whether you actually want to attend that event or you’re just doing it so Mr. A or Mrs. B won’t be angry.

Somebody asks you for a favour and you know that you don't have the time, energy or resources, but you’ll still say yes. And then, you spend the rest of the day complaining about how people stress you.

But who kept saying yes and nodding in agreement every time they were asked? Exactly.

Look, taking care of yourself also means recognising what you can realistically handle and communicating that to other people. You don't have to attend every event, answer every call immediately or agree to every request.&nbsp;

Also, setting a boundary doesn't automatically make you a terrible person. You can be selfless and still know when the time has come to take a step back and breathe.

3. Not Every Bad Day Requires a Shopping Cart.

Now, there is a special group of people who consider every stressful situation or challenge as a divine sign to ‘treat themselves’.

Now, this is not to say that you shouldn’t treat yourself every once in a while, especially when you hit a milestone. Sometimes, all you need is a cup of ice cream or a new gold clutch to match the gold shoes you got in January, butttttt…

Why is your first response to every inconvenience buying something? Emphasis on the word, ‘every’.&nbsp;

Your boss annoyed you? New shoes. You argued with your partner? Shopping. You had a difficult week? Time to order three things you absolutely did not budget for.

And before you start trying to defend yourself and going off about how it’s your money and you can do what you want with it, that’s not the point here.

Buy the shoes. Order the food. Get the massage.&nbsp; However, if your idea of taking care of yourself constantly leaves you worried about how you'll survive financially until payday, perhaps it’s time to reconsider that arrangement, because spending money to feel better shouldn't consistently create another problem you need to feel better about.

Sometimes, self-care is treating yourself. Other times, it's leaving that item in your cart and paying your bills. Yes, it’s not particularly glamorous but very useful.

4. You Actually Have to Deal With Your Problems.

You've had an argument with someone, and instead of addressing it, you've decided to "protect your peace." But we both know that you’ve not been able to stop thinking of the person and the argument. 

You refuse to have the conversation; you’re choosing to avoid the person, but you’ll still go and post a quote on your WhatsApp status or Instagram story about removing negative energy from your life. Thought you swore that you have moved on?

Not every disagreement deserves a conversation, and you certainly don't owe everybody unlimited access to you. But sometimes, what you're calling protecting your peace is simply avoiding something uncomfortable. Please know that avoidance doesn't automatically become self-care because you gave it a nice name.

Taking care of yourself can mean admitting when you're wrong, having difficult conversations, asking for help or finally addressing something you've been putting off. 

It's not always enjoyable, but that's the point. Not everything that feels good is necessarily good for you, and not everything that's good for you will feel good immediately.

So, What Should Your Self-Care Routine Actually Look Like?

First of all, keep your skincare products. Nobody is coming to confiscate your moisturiser. 

But the next time you're thinking about how to take better care of yourself, ask yourself a few questions:

You don't have to get everything right at once. But at least these questions force you to consider the person underneath the products. And that's the part of self-care that doesn't always make it to Instagram.

So yes, enjoy yourself. Look good, smell nice, enjoy a spa day, and take care of your skin. But let's stop pretending that an expensive routine automatically means you're taking good care of yourself.

Because your skin can be glowing while your sleep schedule is a mess. Your nails can be perfectly done while you're constantly ignoring your own needs. And you can have an entire shelf of skincare products and still have no idea how to manage your stress. And no amount of moisturiser is going to do that work for you.&nbsp;

So, by all means, invest in your skincare. Just remember that your face isn't the only part of you you're responsible for taking care of.&nbsp;

Your skincare shelf is stocked, your nails are done, and your self-care routine looks expensive. But are you actually taking care of yourself?

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