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Gaya

When I started dating Dan, I became weirdly obsessed with his ex. Not because I thought they were still together. I just wanted to know what kind of girl could have had this man completely wrapped around her finger for so long.

Everyone had something to say about Helen. According to his friends, she was his one true love; they dated for years, and basically everyone in school knew they were together until they weren't. Dan said she cheated. I believed him, but I also couldn't stop wondering if there was more to the story. If she cheated, why? If they had been so in love, what made her throw it all away? Was there something Dan had done that he wasn't telling me?

If I'm being honest, there was another reason I was so interested in her. I wanted to know what she looked like. I wanted to know what she had that I didn't. Helen was a baddie. I was a pretty normal girl, not plain enough to be ignored, but not pretty enough to turn heads either. So yes, I had done a little research. I had seen her pictures. I had stalked her Instagram. I knew what she looked like, but nothing prepared me for the day I got a text from an unknown number.

"It's Helen. Can we see?" Then another message came almost immediately. "It's important. I have something to tell you."

I stared at my phone for a while. I should probably have ignored it. Instead, I replied. I think it was curiosity, or maybe I had questions of my own. If Dan had really done all of that for her, why did she cheat? Why did she throw away everything they had? Was there more to it? Was it something he did?

So, I went, and it was awkward. I got there before her, sat down, ordered a drink, and, because apparently I have no shame, opened ChatGPT and typed: "How to handle meeting your boyfriend's ex for a drink." I was still trying to figure out what ChatGPT thought I should do when she arrived.

I looked up and saw a proper clean babe. Nice lashes, carved brows, bone-straight hair. I gulped. I knew she was beautiful, but not this beautiful.

I shook her hand and she sat down. She was assessing me. I could feel it. My neat cornrows, which I had refreshed earlier that day. My glasses sitting at the bridge of my nose. The very plain nude dress I had bought from Oshodi. Suddenly, I felt like I should have done better. I looked at her hair again and wondered why Dan had gone after me. I was a proper downgrade. How?

"Hi, Helen. Nice to meet you." "Clare. Lovely to meet you." She put her bag down and looked at me for a second. "Can we just get straight to it?" "Sure." "I wanted to do you a favour." I raised my eyebrows.

"If it was me, I'd want someone to tell me too." "Tell me what?" She took a breath. "Dan isn't all that you think he is." I almost laughed. I took a sip of my drink. "Okay..."

"I know what you're probably thinking. That I'm bitter. That I cheated on him and now I'm trying to ruin his relationship because he moved on." I didn't say anything. She nodded. "Fair. I'd probably think the same thing."

"So why are you here?" "Because I cheated." I blinked. "But I cheated for a reason. He stopped loving me." That wasn't the answer I expected. She continued: "Dan used to be romantic. He used to care about things. He'd notice when something was wrong with me. He'd actually try to fix things." She shook her head. "Then he changed." "People change." "Not like this. He became so laid-back. I could complain about something ten times and he'd just throw money at me. Everything became money. If I was upset, money. If we fought, money. If I wanted something from him, money." She looked at me. "I didn't want money. I wanted my boyfriend."

I shifted in my seat. "Okay, but that's your relationship. It doesn't mean it'll be ours." "I know. Dan is intentional about me. He has met my family. He supports my interests. He—" "He has met your family? Funded your interests?" "Yes." She smiled. "You look like a nerd, so I'm guessing he's bought you books too." I stared at her. "He has."

"Exactly." She leaned back. "It's temporary. And that's not all."

I sighed. "Look, I understand that you're angry with him, but—" "No. Listen to me." Something about the way she said it made me stop. "If I wasn't a girl supporting girl, you wouldn't catch me here. Dan has a very weird secret. I don't know exactly what he's doing, but his source of money is weird."

I laughed again, but she didn't. "I'm serious, Clare." "What does that even mean?"

"It means be careful." She lowered her voice. "Don't leave your underwear at his place. Don't let him clean you up after sex. Keep your hair strands. Keep anything of yours that you leave around his place." I genuinely thought she had lost it. "Why?"

She looked at me for a few seconds. "That's what I did. And I think that's one of the reasons he broke up with me." There was a silence between us. I didn't know what to say. Helen picked up her bag. "I'm done here." And just like that, she stood up. I watched her walk away, her waist swinging as she left the bar.

I sat there for another few minutes trying to make sense of what had just happened. She was jealous. She was lying. She wanted revenge because Dan left her. She was probably just trying to scare me. I had a whole list.

When I got home, I called Dan and told him everything. There was silence. Then he burst out laughing. Not a small laugh. A proper laugh.

"Helen?" "Yes, Helen." "That girl is a bitch."

I told him everything. He laughed again. "Clare, please. Don't listen to that girl." "So what was she talking about? The money. The weird source of income." He was quiet for a second. Then he laughed. "She has always been dramatic."

"Dan." "Clare, she cheated on me." "I know." "So what exactly do you want me to say?"

He didn't really defend himself beyond that. And honestly, I took that as a good sign.

For a while, everything went back to normal. Actually, it went better than normal. Five months into our relationship, I was convinced I had found my person. Dan was thoughtful. He remembered little things. He showed up for me. He had met my family. He supported my interests. He made me feel wanted. The whole thing was giving fairytale. Until I started noticing little things.

The first was his phone. It had terrible battery life. He had been complaining about it since we started dating, and he kept saying he'd replace it. At some point, I stopped believing him. Then his phone started going off for hours. Sometimes I'd call and it would be switched off. I'd ask him about it. "Battery." And honestly, that made sense. The phone was ancient. So I didn't think much of it.

Until Helen's voice started playing in my head. His source of making money is weird. And suddenly every small thing became suspicious.

Dan started offering to come with me whenever I went to get my hair done. At first, I thought it was cute. A man willing to sit in a salon for three hours while you get your hair done, but after a while, I started wondering why, and then last week happened.

Dan and I had sex. Afterwards, he picked up a towel and offered to clean me up. Normally, I probably wouldn't have thought anything about it. But the second I saw the towel, I remembered Helen. Don't let him clean you up after sex.

My whole body went cold. "No, I'll shower." "Let me." "I'm fine." "I'll just clean you up." He reached for me again. I moved away. "I said I'll shower."

He stopped. There was no argument. No force. He just looked at me for a second, dropped the towel and left me alone, and that should have been it, but I stood there staring at the bathroom door, thinking about Helen, and for the first time since that meeting, I started wondering if she had actually been telling me the truth.

What if she wasn't lying? What if I had dismissed her because she was beautiful and bitter and because I desperately wanted to believe Dan? But then again, what exactly had Dan done? Nothing. His phone genuinely has battery problems. He likes coming to the salon with me. He offered to clean me up after sex. None of these things mean anything.

Now I know that once someone puts an idea in your head, your brain will start looking for evidence, and that is what scares me. I don't know whether Helen warned me about Dan or whether she planted a fear in me that I now can't get rid of. I've tried asking Dan about Helen again. He still says she's a liar. He still calls her crazy. He still laughs whenever I bring up that conversation. But he has never actually explained what she meant by his source of money.

Maybe your boyfriend shouldn't have to defend himself against every strange accusation his ex makes. Maybe Helen really is just bitter. Maybe she cheated, got dumped, saw me with him and decided to ruin it. Or maybe she knew exactly what she was talking about.

I don't know, and that is why I'm writing this. Because I don't want to leave Dan over something that might be completely in my head. But I also don't want to stay with him and find out six months from now that Helen was the only person who tried to warn me.

So now I'm stuck with the worst question of all:

Was Helen trying to save me, or did she just ruin my ability to trust the man I love?

My boyfriend's ex texted me out of nowhere to "warn" me about him. Months later, I still can't tell if she saved me or just wrecked my peace.

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