How many “I will never…” and “could never be me” speeches did you confidently deliver in January?

Because wow — look at you now. Performing emotional gymnastics you once swore you were too wise for..

And now, we’re here to help you catch yourself in 4K. Chakam.

As your honorary Chief Analyst of Bad Decisions, we present to you: Your 2025 Love Delusion Report, a chaotic, hilarious, and painfully accurate audit of all the romantic lies we confidently told ourselves this year. Think of it as a year-end diagnostic of your heart, your hope, and your questionable decision-making.

1. The Talking Stage You Swore Was Going Somewhere

You two were talking every day. Good morning, good night, memes, inside jokes.

2025 taught us that the talking stage is the most unserious relationship format ever invented. You fall in love alone, dream together alone, and break up alone. But did that stop us? No. Because delusion is the fuel that powers modern romance.

2. The Red Flags We Rebranded as ‘Aesthetic’

He replies once every 8 hours?“Omg he’s so mysterious.”She never says how she feels?“I like a challenge.”He says “I’m not ready for a relationship”?“But maybe I can change him.”We turned red flags into décor. We framed them. We hung them on the wall. We even used them as content.

3. The Situationship You Upgraded Without Permission

“It’s not official but it’s basically official.”

“I know he likes me, he’s just traumatised.”

In 2025, many of us were in funny relationships, built on vibes, assumptions, and bullet points only we could see. No commitment, just chemistry and confusion.

4. The ‘We’re Just Friends’ That Wasn’t Just Friends

Look. Let’s all be honest. There was one person you were “just friends” with.

Very friendly. Too friendly.Suspiciously friendly.

You called it “friendship.” What it really was is ‘two young people deceiving themselves.’But in the spirit of 2025, we bind and cast such.

5. The Healing Era You Entered… for Two Business Days

2025 saw a record number of people announce:

“I’m focusing on myself this year.”

“How do you know if a guy likes you but he’s shy?”

Self-care was self-careing… until that one “hey” entered the chat at 11:47pm.

6. The Online Crush You Built an Entire Future With

You liked one photo. They liked one back. Suddenly, you could see your wedding.

Meanwhile, they don’t know your last name.

Digital romance really humbled us this year. But did that stop us from soft-launching someone who didn’t even follow us back?

The Delulu That Held the Country Together

If not for romantic delusion, half of us would have given up on dating entirely.

Your 2025 Love Report Ends Here But Your Delulu Does Not

If you made it to the end of this report, congratulations.

2025 may have confused you, humbled you, and dragged you by the wig… but it also showed one beautiful thing:

And no matter how chaotic the year was, we’re still showing up, messy, hopeful, delulu, and ready to try again.

May your love life move from “what are we?” to “this is my person.”

Explore your 2025 Love Delusion Report: a funny, relatable look at your dating habits, romantic decisions, and the delusions that shaped your love life this year.

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