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Gaya

You can learn a lot about a man from his Twitter. Not necessarily from what he tweets, but his algorithm.

Sometimes you’re sitting beside your boyfriend, minding your business, and he opens Twitter, and suddenly you’re looking at a video explaining why women who earn more than their husbands are “difficult.”

Then another one about how women should submit. Then another one about how modern women have ruined relationships. Then somehow, a man with a podcast microphone is explaining why a woman having too many male friends is a red flag. And you’re just there thinking: How did we get here?

Before you start panicking, no, we’re not telling you to steal your boyfriend’s phone and conduct a forensic investigation of his Twitter activity. Please. You have work tomorrow, but if you’ve ever looked over at his screen and thought, “Why does this man keep seeing these things?”, it might be worth paying attention.

Algorithms don't just randomly decide that your boyfriend needs to see his 47th video about female submission. They learn from what people watch, like, share, pause on and engage with. The more you interact with certain kinds of content, the more of it you tend to get.

That doesn't mean every video on his For You Page is a declaration of his personal beliefs. Sometimes the internet simply has a wicked sense of humour. Sometimes you watch one ridiculous video to laugh at it and suddenly Twitter has decided that this is your new personality, but there is a difference between one random video and an entire ecosystem.

If his feed is consistently filled with the same ideas about women, relationships, masculinity and what a “good” woman should be, you might want to look a little closer.

Not because Twitter knows your boyfriend better than you do, but because sometimes, what someone repeatedly consumes can tell you what ideas they're being exposed to, normalising or even starting to believe.

So, girl, if you see these things on his algorithm, here's what you should know.

If His Feed Is Full Of “Women Should Submit” Content…

What you should know: He probably has a very specific idea of what a relationship should look like, and honestly, the word submission is not even the interesting part.

The question is: what does submission mean to him? Does it mean respecting each other, considering your partner's opinion and willingly compromising in a relationship? Or does it mean “I'm the man, so I make the rules and you obey”, because those are two very different relationships.

You probably want to figure out which one he means before you're married with two children and somebody is explaining to you that your husband doesn't need to tell you where he's going because “a man needs his freedom.”

If His Feed Is Full Of “Modern Women Are For The Streets” Videos…

What you should know: He may be spending a lot of time around content that teaches him to distrust women.

"Women are gold diggers." "Women are hypergamous." "Women cheat." "Women are too independent." "Women don't respect men anymore." "Women only want money." "Women are for the streets."

At some point, you have to wonder what happens when someone spends hours consuming content that repeatedly presents half the population as dishonest, selfish or fundamentally problematic. Especially when he is dating that same half of the population.

What happens when his girlfriend does something the internet told him “modern women” do?&nbsp;Does he talk to her? Or does he immediately put her in the same box?

If His Feed Is Full Of “High-Value Man” Content…

What you should know: Don't automatically run.

Some of this content is literally just men talking about discipline, fitness, money, ambition, emotional control, and becoming a better person. No wahala, but pay attention to what high value means on his feed.

Is it: Build a career. Save money. Take care of your body. Become emotionally mature. Or is it: Never apologise. Women are beneath you. Never let a woman have power over you. Your girlfriend must obey you. A man should always have options.

Those are two very different self-improvement programmes. One is personal development. The other is getting a PhD in being difficult to date.

If His Feed Is Full Of Football, Cars, Gym Bros And Random Men Arguing About Who Is The GOAT…

What you should know: Maybe… nothing. LOL

Sometimes a man's algorithm is simply a man's algorithm. He likes football. He watches gym videos. He wants to know whether a Toyota or Mercedes is better. He watches 17-minute arguments between men about basketball.

Please, allow him.&nbsp;Not every corner of Twitter needs to reveal a deep psychological truth. In fact, this is an important part of the whole thing: don't turn someone's algorithm into a criminal investigation.

Look for patterns that actually intersect with his values and behaviour.

If His Feed Is Full Of “How To Make Your Woman Chase You” Advice…

What you should know: He may be treating dating like a strategy game.

"Don't reply too quickly." "Don't compliment her too much." "Make her jealous." "Disappear for three days." "Never double text." "Always keep her guessing." &nbsp;"Never let her know she has you"

You're wondering why this man who claims to like you is behaving like he's negotiating a hostage release. Some people genuinely enjoy this kind of content without taking it seriously, but if his actual relationship style starts looking like the videos he's consuming, pay attention.

Because there's a difference between learning dating etiquette and learning how to manipulate someone's emotions.

If His Feed Is Full Of Money, Hustle And “Never Be Broke” Content…

What you should know: This might actually tell you something useful about him.

Maybe he's ambitious or trying to improve his finances. Maybe he's building a business. Maybe he's terrified of being broke again.&nbsp;Maybe he has decided that every morning at 5 a.m. he will become a different person, but look beyond the motivational quotes.

What does he actually believe about money? Does he think everyone should be financially independent? Does he believe the man must provide everything? Does he look down on women who earn less? Does he feel threatened when a woman earns more? Does he think a woman's money belongs to the household while his money is his own?

Money content can reveal relationship expectations too.

If His Feed Is Full Of “Men Are Lonely” And “Nobody Cares About Men” Content…

What you should know: He may be dealing with something real.

Men can absolutely experience loneliness, isolation, and pressure around masculinity. There are plenty of legitimate conversations worth having about that, but pay attention to where the conversation goes.

Is it: “Men need stronger friendships and better emotional support”? Or: “Women have ruined men’s lives, and therefore women are the problem”?

The first one is a conversation about men's well-being.&nbsp;The second one can quickly become an ideology, and if every discussion about men's struggles somehow ends with women being blamed, that's worth noticing.

If His Feed Is Full Of Relationship “Red Flags”…

What you should know: This one can get interesting.

Imagine dating a man who has watched 400 videos explaining female red flags.

You take two hours to reply? Red flag. You have male friends? Red flag. You go out without him? Red flag. You don't want to share your location? Red flag. You disagree with him?&nbsp;Apparently, red flag.

At some point, you need to ask whether he's learning how to understand people or simply learning how to find reasons to distrust them, Because relationships cannot survive if somebody is constantly looking for evidence that the other person is secretly terrible.

If His Feed Is Full Of “Men Should Be Providers” Content…

What you should know: You need to know what provision means to him.

“I want to provide for my family” can be a perfectly healthy value, but&nbsp;sometimes the conversation quietly becomes: “I provide, therefore I have authority", and that's a completely different arrangement.

If he wants to be the sole provider, does he also expect the woman to be a homemaker? If she works, does her money still belong entirely to her? If she earns more, does that change his sense of himself? And if he cannot provide at some point, does he believe he has failed as a man?

These things sound like Twitter debates until you're discussing your actual finances at 11 p.m. in your future apartment.

If His Feed Is Full Of “Women Are Too Independent” Content…

What you should know: He may not actually want an independent partner.

This is important to find out before you build a life together, because “I love ambitious women” sounds lovely until the ambitious woman starts earning more than him. “I want my wife to have a career” sounds great until her career requires her to travel. “I like strong women” sounds romantic until she disagrees with him.

Don't just listen to what he says he likes. Pay attention to what his idea of the perfect woman looks like.

What you should know: This one is different.

Now the content isn't just appearing on his feed. He's actively bringing it into your relationship. He sends you a video saying girlfriends should cook every day. You laugh.

Then he sends another. Then another. Then one day he says, “See? This is what I've been telling you.” Babe.&nbsp;At that point, the algorithm is no longer the issue.

If His Feed Is Full Of Celebrity Gossip, Football Banter And “Things That Make Me Laugh”…

What you should know: Congratulations. You may have discovered that your boyfriend is simply a man on the internet.

Not everything needs to be decoded.&nbsp;Maybe he likes Burna Boy.&nbsp;Maybe he spends 45 minutes watching people fall off chairs. Maybe his entire For You Page is football highlights and Nigerian memes. Maybe he's perfectly normal.Let the man enjoy his memes.

The point isn't to examine every single thing that appears on his screen and decide whether you've been dating a secret villain.

At the end of the day, your boyfriend's Twitter feed is not a lie detector.

One random video does not mean he's secretly a misogynist. One “women should submit” tweet does not mean he's about to become your personal dictator. And yes, sometimes Twitter is just Twitter and the algorithm has decided to show you nonsense, but patterns matter.

If the same ideas keep appearing on his feed, then showing up in his jokes, his opinions, the way he talks about women and eventually the way he treats you, don't dismiss all of it as “just content.” Because what we consume doesn't automatically define us, but it can shape what starts to feel normal.

So no, you don't need to check his phone every night or conduct a full FBI investigation of his For You Page.&nbsp;Just pay attention.

To what he laughs at.To what he agrees with.To what he sends you.To what he calls a “joke.”And most importantly, to whether the things he consumes online eventually show up in the way he treats you, because the algorithm might know what he's watching, but his behaviour will tell you who he is.

What does your boyfriend’s Twitter algorithm say about him? From relationship advice to manosphere content, here’s what those patterns might reveal.

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