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Gaya

The first lie adulthood tells you is that moving out means freedom.

Yes, you can come home whenever you want. You can eat at 2 a.m. You can cook and clean whenever you want. Nobody will ask who you're talking to on the phone. The yelling and nagging is significantly less, but you will also discover that toilet paper doesn't buy itself.

You will discover that you can actually “waste light” when you leave the bulbs on in an empty room. You will discover that eating three times a day is apparently a luxury and not a necessity. And you will discover that having your own house also means being responsible for every single thing that goes wrong in it.

We asked nine Nigerians what moving out has taught them, and honestly, some of their answers are making us rethink this whole independence thing.

If you're planning to move out soon, please read this first.

UrMan, 30 “Your parents aren't the problem. They did their best in the best way they could. It's their first life too and they don't have everything figured out.”

This one is actually quite deep. When you live with your parents, it's easy to assume they know what they're doing. Then you move out and realise they were also just adults trying to make the best decisions they could with the information they had. Somehow, you start giving them more grace.

Jimmy, 38 “Freedom is expensive to have, and keep.”

That's it. That's the tweet. You wanted to be free? Congratulations. Now pay for the freedom. Jimmy also reminded us:

“As long as there's life, it's never too late to start again.”

Senior Man, 28 Moving out taught him to “give my parents more flowers and respect their sacrifices more.” Then he added what sounds like a warning from someone who has suffered:

“Omooooooooo. If your parents nuh pursue you from their house, nuh comot o. Nuh go anywhere till you are prepared both financially and mentally.”

He is not saying don't grow. He is saying grow responsibly. Please.

Didi, 26 “The way bills actually ignore every budgeting you've planned for the month.”

You have a budget, but the universe has other plans. The moment you say, “This month, I am going to be financially responsible,” the tap starts leaking, your gas finishes, the light bill arrives, or something in the house stops working. Suddenly, the money you carefully divided into “food”, “savings” and “transport” has entered a new category called “God knows.”

Twenty-Four, 27 “Financial discipline is key. It should be taught in school.”

Honestly, this should be on the secondary school curriculum: Mathematics, English, Biology and How Not To Finish Your Salary By The 15th. The advice was simple:

“Don't leave your parent's house if you're not financially capable.”

Ms Ramat, 35 When asked what the biggest thing she understood after moving out was, she said: “Survival.”

We asked if she had any other gist. She said:

We have nothing to add. This in itself is more than enough.

“There's food at home” was actually a blessing.

Chinaza, 28 Chinaza discovered something that many of us have probably discovered the hard way: “‘There's food at home’ is not punishment. It's one beautiful way to save money.”

Because at home, you hear “there's food at home” and feel personally attacked because you wanted shawarma. Move out and suddenly you're staring at a pot of three-day-old rice like, “Mummy was actually trying to help me.”

But apparently, food wasn't the only thing he underestimated.

“Also prices of curtains. Jesus Christ.”

Honestly, nobody prepares you for how expensive it is to make a house look like somebody actually lives there. He also learnt that “you can have a house and not furnish it till you're ready.”

Which is very important because Pinterest will have you believing you need a couch, rug, centre table, wall art, dining set, curtains and indoor plants on the first day. You don't. You can take your time. You can even have one plastic chair and call it minimalist.

You will miss the food. And sometimes, just home.

Shopp Giftty, 26 Her biggest realisation? “That you no longer have the leverage of meeting a home cooked meal at home.”

There is a particular kind of hunger that comes from opening your fridge and realising that you are the person responsible for putting something inside it. Then there are the little bills.

“You'll keep on paying those small small unexpected bills.”

Just when you think the lesson is going to remain about money, she gets us in the feelings:

“I don't regret leaving but at the same time I miss home because it gets lonely at night and I'm scared of the dark 😂.”

And honestly, that's fair. You can want your independence and still miss hearing people moving around in the next room. You can love your own space and still miss someone asking, “Have you eaten?” Both things can be true.

Celestina Lucy, 31 “I am solely responsible for the decisions I make.”

This might be the biggest part of moving out. Nobody is standing over you. Nobody is reminding you. Nobody is necessarily coming to rescue you from a bad decision. You decide. You pay. You deal with it.

And after all that seriousness, Celestina had one final piece of advice:

Honestly, after reading all these responses, we understand her. Moving out does give you freedom, but it also gives you bills, groceries, maintenance, financial discipline, empty fridges, lonely nights and a sudden respect for the parents you once thought were simply being dramatic.

You leave home thinking you're finally free, then you discover that freedom comes with a shopping list. And somehow, “there's food at home” becomes the most beautiful sentence in the English language.

So yes, move out if you want to. Just make sure your salary is ready, your emergency fund is breathing and you have accepted that eating three square meals a day may no longer be your portion.

And if your parents haven't chased you out yet? Stay there. 😂

You wanted freedom. You got rent, bills, empty fridges and a new respect for your parents. Nine Nigerians share the things moving out taught them the hard way.

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