Life & Love
''Consider using a high-quality water-based or silicone-based lubricant to enhance comfort and reduce friction. Apply it generously to both partners.''
By Damilola Dabiru
PUBLISHED: September 12, 2023
Anal sex is something that a lot of people typically frown at. The sex conversation in Nigeria is hardly entertained, more or less conversations on anal sex.
The reality is that Anal sex is not something alien or something people should feel uncomfortable talking about. There are people who completely enjoy the anal sex experience. Then, there are others who want to learn to enjoy anal sex but are still a bit hesitant about it.
We asked a self proclaimed anal sex warrior (who we promised to keep anonymous) to give us her best tips on enjoying anal sex and she had this to say,
“Well, speaking from my own experience, anal sex can be a very exciting addition to the bedroom. However, as much i as I enjoy it, I understand that it is not for everyone. It is a decision you have to be certain of. I think people should not also expect to feel so much pleasure with Anal sex. It’s a slow paced process that builds up. It took me years before I was able to learn how to enjoy anal sex and even get orgasms from it. The most intense orgasms I've ever had till date had involved a mix of vaginal penetration, clitoral stimulation, and anal play.
I believe that to get comfortable with Anal sex and truly enjoy it, having a patient and trustworthy partner is very crucial. You also have to use lube. Lots and lots of lube. You see, the anus unlike the vagina does not produce its own lubrication, so it's very essential to be fully relaxed and well-lubricated before attempting anal sex.
However, sometimes, even when I'm prepared, sometimes the size of the equipment used can still be a challenge. So, you have to start off really slow. You can start with the fingers first, then slowly build it up.
When I first started, it was really painful ad I struggled to get into it. Now, I can comfortably call myself a certified anal sex professional. (Laughs).”
The self proclaimed anal sex warrior shared some golden tips with us for beginners and people who are still struggling to enjoy anal sex.
The tips she shared will help you turn painful sex into a pleasurable experience.
Open Communication: Discuss your concerns openly with your partner. Let them know about the pain you're experiencing and work together to find solutions.
Foreplay: Engage in extended foreplay to increase arousal and natural lubrication. This can help reduce friction and discomfort during sex.
Use Lubricants: Consider using a high-quality water-based or silicone-based lubricant to enhance comfort and reduce friction. Apply it generously to both partners.
Relaxation Techniques: Practice relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or mindfulness, to reduce anxiety and muscle tension before and during sex.
Experiment with Positions: Explore different sexual positions to find ones that minimize discomfort and will allow you enjoy the experience experience.
Have a safe word: Safe words are really important while having sex. This is also a nice way to establish boundaries even in the bedroom. Having a safe word can be important in communication during anal sex and also it breeds a feeling of safety and trust which is important for anal sex to happen.
Start small. Instead of going for big dildos or jumping right into real penis penetration, start with something small. You can begin with a a single finger, and work your way up. You can then introduce small toys and then build it up .
Exercise: You have to be able to exercise to relieve the tension in your body. Your body is in a more relaxed state to enjoy anal sex you keep it fit.
It may be a messy event, be prepared; If there’s poop in your rectum, you might spill some during anal sex. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s completely fine. If you’re really worried about that though, you can try to poop before sex or take drugs that will enable you poo easily.
Take It Slow: Go at a pace that feels comfortable for you. Start slowly and gradually increase the intensity. Rushing can exacerbate discomfort.
Emotional Support: You can seek emotional support from a therapist or counselor if past experiences or emotional issues are contributing to pain during sex.
Self-Exploration: Take time for self-exploration and understand your own body and what brings you pleasure. This knowledge can help guide your sexual experiences.
It’s OK to hit stop or pause at any point.
If at anytime during anal sex, it feels too painful or you don’t feel like engaging in one anymore, then stop. Consent can be revoked or at any time. You have to understand that you can be in the middle of an act with somebody and can immediately put a end on it, at any time.
Consult a Healthcare Provider: If you keep experiencing persistent pain during anal sex no matter what you do, then you need to visit a health care personnel. This will help you identify if there is an underlying sickness somewhere.
Higher chance of STIs
This does not mean that you need to steer clear of anal sex , it however does mean you need to keep things very clean and practice safe sex to protect yourself and your partner.
Not advisable if you have Hemorrhoids
Hemorrhoids can easily get worse during anal sex resulting in rectal bleeding. While a little bit of blood can be normal you should still chat with your doc to find a solution if anal sex really something you want to try.
Bad news. The majority of the Anal sex clips you see on porn clips are a complete fantasy. Anal sex should always be slow paced, involving the use of lots and lots of lubricants.
You can get pregnant from Anal sex
I bet you didn’t know this! But yeah you can. While it’s pretty rare, if your partner comes inside your anus while having sex and isn’t careful when they pull out, his sperm could leak inside your vagina and can result in a pregnancy.